— Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice
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Midnight Thoughts: saga 23
Have you ever wanted to kiss someone so badly that the thought creeps, not only into your dreams, but your waking mind?
Even when they aren’t around, but especially when they are. You hear them speaking, you see them from across the room, you remember a moment you shared in laughter, and you can almost imagine their lips on yours.
Then the mind clears and you realise that it was only fantasy, you can’t reach out and pull her in even if she’s close to you. It’s a risk you can’t take because the possibility of it failing could ruin so much.
Spark is a tricky thing, it seems that when you find someone who is perfect on paper, they just don’t give you butterflies like the people who shouldn’t. It’s always the people who you shouldn’t have feelings for that send a shiver down your spine and make your breath catch in your throat.
If I ever meet the one in charge of fate, I would ask why we fall for people we can’t have. What is the lesson here? Is the pain teaching me something useful? Have you ever wanted to kiss someone so badly, but you couldn’t?
2am Los Angeles. Light pollution.
“And every time she closed her eyes she couldn’t stop thinking about this man. He wasn’t real though, not the way she imagined him. He was a ghost of a man she thought he could have been, a ghost of a man she thought she could have had. The man she imagined only appeared in the small moments between reality when life was like the stories she read. Then, as always, when reality sets in the truth is revealed… ghost just don’t exist.”
— Bex Marie | April 2020